So there I am, burning my paws on hot oil as I change the oil on two vaccuum pumps, and suddenly a thought occurred to me. I narrowsed my eyes, and perked up my ears and said in my best Doc Bones imitation "Dammnit Jim! I'm a chemist, not a mechanic!"
 
Sigh. My humor was, alas, not greastly appreciated. The amusing thing is that I've never changed the oil on ANYTHING before.  But, I still had a better idea of what I was doing than anyone else. When I hear someone say "What's the purpose of the oil, anyway?", I push them aside and just take over and fix for them. That's why I did two. I was of course figuring it out as I went along, but it really wasn't all that difficult.
 
So, aside from some minor accidents, everything went peachy. Of course, then we discovered that we had enough cleaning fluid to drown an elephant, but only enough actual oil for one pump. Of course. Because god hates me.